| Blinded |
[Jan. 31st, 2011|11:16 pm] |
It's not fair that I get less than one ounce of your heart
When I give to you every morsel of mine
This dark realization will be the burden of my entire life I believe Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
|
|
| Not one moment of reprise |
[Jan. 20th, 2011|01:42 pm] |
My mind is bombarded with images
Thoughts of past occurrences I imagine they will never leave me
I imagine I will go insane from them
I imagine limbs thrashing about
This idiot grin and hideous halo I tremble in this terrible magnitude Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
|
|
| Worthless |
[Jan. 15th, 2011|06:30 am] |
She doesn't need you
Your devotion means absolutely nothing to her Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
|
|
| Hidden away in my cloak |
[Dec. 26th, 2010|12:54 am] |
I hate it when you talk about him
I hate that you know so much about him
It felt like you would be with him if it was even remotely possible
I'm an idiot Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
|
|
| interesting day |
[Sep. 14th, 2010|02:29 am] |
i woke up with an agenda this morning
it all came crashing down before my eyes
alas...
if it hadnt i would have never got to know jasmine
i rung the lab with a simple question
but turned it into a 30 minute conversation
i brought her grapes
she returned my wide smile
i cant wait to see the pictures
With these perfect ribs so close to mine
Tangled appendages and covers
I am drawn into this neck as a moth to the flame
Your beautiful
And i miss those lips already |
|
|
| so many liars |
[Sep. 12th, 2010|01:14 am] |
she might be schizophrenic
she tells me one thing
and then tells me a complete opposite a few days later
why does she even talk to me if she doesnt want anything to do with me?
this is pointless to even write about this
i will never understand it
this will never happen
i was a fool to attempt this
countless endeavors
countless failures |
|
|
| recount of the previous day |
[Sep. 10th, 2010|01:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
Upon receiving a pleasant phone call in the night i couldn't go back to sleep till 4 and i had to get up at 8:30. (I wanted to come and save you; why oh why wont she let me be there for her? Hurt by the world im sure. Haven't i showed her enough to make her feel comfortable in asking of me?) So even though my mental training of being wide awake when i wake up was in full hypothesis, it didn't work. I went to school and was tired and irritable, but only for a few minutes. I saw this glowing face next to me and it widened my eyes. I displayed my fresh wound and she might have saw it; i don't think anyone would ever say anything about them if they did see them. I love being the only male in the class, even though i feel sort of emasculated i feel virile all the more. They giggle and swoon when i say something; its probably all in my head. I moved some pictures from my memory card to the mac im stationed at, i wanted to put your face on my screen for all the world to see but was afraid of the eyes on the back of my neck. Why should i display something that isn't mine, that probably will never be mine? I left for work and it was tedious. I closed in section 8 and grit my teeth and spat the floor as i recalled failures that have happened and where happening. "fuck you" i said. The claw marks all over the others were visible only to me. What intensity of sad puppy dog does it take to spur a response from you? I try to spark those appendages from your sides but it never comes. She's trying too hard to not be with me i feel. I used to be that way. Upon leaving i had but one sentence to provoke a reaction; haphazard was all i got. I went home and did half my workout of yoga. Ive been so lazy lately; and i am so mad at Randall. I know he has work and some tough classes going on but i just want to bitch about it i guess. It helps to have a partner doing the exercises with you, to push you on to make you want to be better. The in between pieces of my day are lost to me, i cant remember what happened after i worked out. I ate grilled cheese and surfed the web and played wow. I took a nap hoping for a dream of you, i cant remember if i did or not. She calls haphazard and i hint to further activity. Unresponsive. We do laundry, i hide my eyes from her smile that ensnares my mind and watch WE Were Soldiers. The movie was decent, i made jokes about the different races and the camera equipment. She scoffs. I took enjoyment in the fact that she stayed awake for the most part; that made me feel like it wasn't totally a wasted night. As she slept i folded covers, turned lights off and loaded a CD for her that i had brought. Whispering to wake her she lifts her arms to embrace me and i fall into her neck. I breath gently to raise the nerve endings just behind her ear, i feel the hair stand up as does mine. A kiss on her sweet cheek and im a ghost. I skip down these concrete steps of hers and i sing my song. "what a waste, your a waste, never gonna happen, you delved to deeply this night"; its a new song every time. I reach out to others for a little solace. Blair responds and i have great plans. Although it might be costly 44 cents at a time, i think it could brighten blairs mood. She seems so sad everytime i see her; she says she is tired but i dont believe it. Maybe i can help slighty, but more than likely hurt; thats all im good for. |
|
|
| you are a liar |
[Sep. 8th, 2010|02:22 am] |
you say you miss me
i missed you the second i met you
its pointless to respond
its a vicious cycle that repeats itself
on and on
on and on
how am i supposed to drop everything ive been working on just to be let down all over again?
i cant do it
i could have loved her i think
i was digging through my old love letters and found a great one
*orange slice
but ill never see her again
thats for damn sure |
|
|
| lying next to me |
[Sep. 6th, 2010|02:43 am] |
you lie there
unmoving
so close yet so far away
i beckon you forth
no response
i have to stop trying
there is no point to this
i am hurting myself beyond belief
i attempted to cry last night
it worked for mere moments |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
squirecervantez's journal